Everything feels the same.
These damn harmful thoughts fill my brain.
It’s enough to make someone go insane and idk why I’m still here playing the game.
One thing goes wrong and I’m the one to blame.
These demons are something that can’t be tamed.
Hopefully my self awareness I’m able to gain
But nothing’s more hurtful than all this pain.
It’s like the devil got me on a ball and chain and it keeps getting shorter as I’m losing my mind by the quarter.
These thoughts keep me up at night and there’s no guiding light.
It pulls me under and never losing the grip.
Take one step forward, and ten steps back.
I always try to do good but there is always setbacks.
And I try to wear a smile but it doesn’t last for a while so all this black on black begins to be my style.
And to everyone that let me down, I got nothing to say but you’re right.
I am worthless, I am a no body.
How is someone suppose to love me if I can’t love myself?
Woke up this morning with you on my mind.
And I can’t shake you out, it’s like you’re glued in my mind.
My mind then decides to rewind and projects memories from all the good times.
Like when we first met and the first kiss we shared.
I was prepared on that day to show you I wasn’t scared.
So I grabbed you and never pulled anyone so close.
From that moment on I never lost hope.
My faith starting coming back.
But then my mind started to flashback times when hope was nothing in sight and my freight would keep me up all night.
Where every night the only thing I had to hold close was a pillow and a night light just to keep my room lite up a little bright.
Every night I thought of my happy place where I can go and hide and just to feel safe.
But now my happy place is right here with you, right in my arms.
It’s like a gift, that god sent from above.
Now this is what I do, right down all my love.
Cause I physically can’t express all these inner emotions.
All I can do is write all these poems to you so maybe you can get a clue of what you really mean to me.
I will never give up, even if I’m fallin down and I’m on my knees.
Cause I know this will hopefully be
True love going for a whole eternity. Cause now I know I got you and now hope is in my life.
It brightens up my sky like the night of the Fourth of July.
And it’s all thanks to you and I can express that enough.